Poemas 7

Fear

Sometimes I feel happy,
but once I look to that smile in the mirror
I realise I can only be sad
‘cos every time I’m glad
Something bad happens.

The grief, the pain
I feel always insane;
the sorrow, the guilt
my body to be built.
The loneliness among all these people.

The unhappiness, the sadness
my own, eternal madness.
My tears are dry,
I’m laughing in a lie,
running away from myself.

Screaming, in silence, for help
Drifting away for some truth
My rising shame
for what I haven’t done
remembering how I felt.

Lying to me so that can be truth
I’m never in the right mood.
But now, this lusting wish
I feel for you,
is it true?

Don’t know what should I do
to make my feelings come true.
Don’t want any happy, empty story
neither some moments of glory;
just the real, brutal truth.

Tell me, is it painful?
Will I hurt you?
I feel so awful,
that I want to protect you
from my hell…

[Agosto de 2000]

Para o Ruben